Um of Umbridge. the person you are when you cannot be yourself or you will lose your head.
so instead of revealing myself I will keep it factual.
1. I am still studying. Not sure whether to continue on the three year program ( that I have been on for all of 3 weeks) or drop back to the four year program.
2. I am still a solo mum. It's doing my head in a bit. A lot of responsibility. A lot of times I wish I had someone to share the load.
3. My poor kids copped a bit of crazy mum action today. I yelled at them really loudly. I told them I HATED their behaviour. This is because I really felt like I hated them. That's a pretty big bad statement for a loving mother to make. I really want to tell you about all the stuff I had to fit into my day today, and all the stuff I didn't fit into my day today that I desperately needed to get done and why this all resulted in me snapping like a taught rubber band , but anyone who is a mother knows it already. It probably doesn't justify my behaviour (but I am hoping it does) although, I think it's ok they saw me at a breaking point. I think it's ok that my five year old sees that when she yells at me over and over and over and over and over that I am not the perfect mother who can always put up with it.
4. I still feel really really really reallly really guilty that I was not the perfect mother.
5. I also feel pretty embarressed that the neighbours might have heard me.
6. I don't think I've spelt embarressed correctly.
7. I suck at keeping things factual. I think this post reveals me in all my unperfect mother glory.
